I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: An Interview.
The Austrian Oak is best known as an iconic tough guy. However, in the midst of his cinematic dominance in the late 20th century, he also headlined several surprisingly great comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its three-and-a-half decade milestone this December.
The Role and The Famous Scene
In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger portrays a hardened detective who poses as a elementary educator to track down a criminal. For much of the film's runtime, the investigation plot serves as a loose framework for the star to have charming interactions with kids. Arguably the most famous features a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere rises and informs the actor, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Arnold responds dryly, “I appreciate the insight.”
That iconic child was brought to life by child star Miko Hughes. His career included a notable part on Full House playing the antagonist to the famous sisters and the character of the youngster who comes back in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with multiple films in development. Additionally, he engages with fans at popular culture events. Recently discussed his recollections from the production over three decades on.
Behind the Scenes
Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
Wow, I don't recall being four. Do you remember anything from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're brief images. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?
My mother, mainly would take me to auditions. Sometimes it was an open call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all patiently queue, enter the casting office, be in there less than five minutes, read a small part they wanted and then leave. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, when I became literate, that was some of the first material I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?
He was very kind. He was playful. He was pleasant, which I suppose stands to reason. It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a productive set. He was a joy to have on set.
“It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a big action star because my family informed me, but I had never really seen his movies. I felt the importance — it was exciting — but he wasn't scary to me. He was just fun and I was eager to interact with him when he wasn't busy. He was working hard, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd flex and we'd be hanging off. He was exceptionally kind. He gifted all the students in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was the hottest tech. That was the coolest device, that funky old yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It wore out in time. I also was given a authentic coach's whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your days on set as being fun?
You know, it's amusing, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a major production, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, the location shoot, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was new. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the other children would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I was able to, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.
The Line
OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember how it happened? Did you grasp the meaning?
At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word taboo meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it made adults laugh. I knew it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given an exception in this case because it was humorous.
“She really wrestled with it.”
How it originated, according to family lore, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. A few scenes were written into the script, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they developed it during shooting and, I suppose the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, I need time" and took some time. She deliberated carefully. She said she was hesitant, but she felt it could end up as one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and she was right.